I’m tired… but it’s a different kind of tired. Oh, I’ve been tired before. When I was fifteen, I could sleep until noon on the weekends because I was THAT tired. And in college, the fifteen-minute power nap was my bestie, and boy did I need that dear friend A LOT. And sure, in those early years of married bliss, I could stay in bed all day on Saturday because, you know, I was “old” and tired. And then, around seven years ago, when my middle section was growing and new life was forming inside of me and the back pain was… well… PAINFUL, insisting on me being up and down all night, I became oh-so-tired again. Then, the real fun began…
There were midnight feedings to handle and night terrors to battle and blanket thieves to thwart and anxiety with insomnia to wrestle. So, now I am T-I-R-E-D, tired like I’ve never been before. My mind, my heart, my body, my soul—they all feel it. Every ounce of my being knows that this stage I’m in is different, and even though the tiredness is overwhelming most days, I am reminded how grateful I am for it.
Being this kind of tired means I am busy. And I don’t mean the piddling kind of busy… I mean busy doing my heavenly Father’s business kind of busy. He has given me three little treasures to love and care for and to train up to be workers for Him. And just like any other treasure I’ve been given, this treasure is not meant to be hidden away, becoming good for nothing. No. These treasures are meant to flourish and grow and help others along the way. Yes, I am busy training up soldiers for Christ, and that’s the best kind of busy there is!
Being this kind of tired means I am never bored. Each day brings new excitement. From baby’s first steps, to my preschooler’s first day of school, to family outings and numerous trips to Publix and Walmart, to surprise dates with my hubby and special movie nights with my children, I have no room for boredom! I get up and go and do and love and act and give and hold and hug and kiss and cuddle and move and breathe and work and live a purposeful life! I am tired, but I am never EVER bored.
Being this kind of tired means I am blessed. Every reason for my exhaustion is a blessing straight from God. I am a wife, a mom, a friend, a daughter, a sister, a church member, a ministry worker, and so much more! Yes, I have responsibilities that consume each and every one of those areas, but every minute spent fulfilling them gives me purpose and hope and teaches me more about my God’s grace and love.
When that old, familiar frenemy, tiredness, begins to stir up my emotions, leaving me a slobbery, tearful, exhausted mess, I now stop and remind myself what being tired really means. And even though there are times I need to relax and certainly make time for rest, I should never begrudge this old “friend” of mine. After all, he’s been with me since childhood, reminding me of all that I’ve been given: I am extraordinarily and gloriously busy. I am never lonely and bored. And I am 100% joyfully blessed beyond measure.
I’m tired, and I wouldn’t change it for the world!