Why Valentine’s Day Scares Your Husband

Valentine’s Day. It’s the ultimate frenemy of the holidays. You either love it or hate it. Every year the lovers scour the jewelry stores and flower shops for the perfect gift to give their “baes” while the haters don all black attire and throw anti-Valentine’s Day shindigs. We all know people who fall into each of these categories, but what you might not realize is that there is a third group of people when Valentine’s Day rolls around . . . the scared-out-of-their-minds husbands. Yes, let that soak in. Wives, your husbands might just be shaking in their boots terrified come Valentine’s Day. Let me fill you in as to why.

  1. When this holiday draws near, nothing you say is what it seems. For example, you say, “Surprise me!” or “It doesn’t matter what you get me because I love you,” but what you really mean is “Hack into my Pinterest account, watch for my not-so-subtle hints, or actually, if you could just read my mind, that would be FANTASTIC!”
  2. When he tries to be thoughtful by giving you a break from the kitchen on this special day, it backfires . . . quite literally. So what if you had to put out a “tiny” grease fire and eat around the black chunks in the homemade alfredo sauce he valiantly attempted to make. It’s the thought that counts, right?
  3. When he is chest-puffing proud of the vibrating back massager he scored at the local thrift store for your Valentine’s Day gift, he doesn’t understand why you’re not thrilled about never having to leave the comfort of your own home again to receive a full body massage at one of those spa places with all their kid-free “peace and quiet” and free drinks and other trivialities. Who really wants all that, anyway? Long dramatic pause . . .

Our poor husbands work hard to support us and try their best to show us that they care, and too often we don’t fully appreciate their efforts. So maybe we look at the world a bit differently, but instead of giving our hubbies a hard time or ungratefully receiving their heartfelt gifts, why don’t we thank the good Lord for men who actually try? Your husband might not know a spatula from a ladle (bless him) or understand the luxuriousness of a spa day, but he knows there’s only one Valentine for him this year and every year. Plus, you never know, you may be surprised this Valentine’s Day. His mind-reading skills might have improved.

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